Good Bye March

March 31, 2008

Can you believe it’s the last day of March all ready?  Oh wow they said time flies as you get older and hell they ( who ever they are) are so right.

Well Bryce said he filled out apps for McDonald’s, Burger King, Subway and the BP stations yesterday so we shall see if anything results from them.  I didn’t say anything but he got up yesterday morning, hit the shower, then said he was going job hunting and off he went. Does the mean he listened to me the day before?  Hell if I know , or is he just tired of being broke?  Again hell if I know.  Time goes on and we shall see.

Oh no disaster here this morning for my poor lil kitty, NO CANNED CAT FOOD LEFT!!!!  Wow to him that is sheer nuts as he needs his morning canned food as well as having it at supper time too.  He is so persistent and will start waking me up around 5am and won’t give up until he is happily chowing down and lapping up all the juice.  This morning I do believe he is not a happy cat!!!  He did get some deli ham, ate it yet knew he was missing out still.  It’s a good thing I plan on heading out today, so yeah cat food tops my list.  Can’t starve my poor baby can I?  Tee hee he doesn’t like dog bones, I tried but that was a no go!!!!  He wants his food and until he gets it, I bet he won’t talk to me!!!!!

Nothing out of the ordinary for my week end, the normal, cleaning, caring for mama, arguing with Bryce!!!  Dang am I in a rut or what??  Today I will break it and head out for awhile.  It will be good seeing how last week it was cold and snowy, so I refused to take mama out in that stuff.  I have to be careful so she doesn’t catch a cold.  Knock on wood, so far so good for her!!!

Hope everyone has a great Monday!!!!!  I am going to start the week with nothing but positive thoughts and vibes, maybe that will flow through the house and all will be good.  I need a miracle to put the entire family back in sync the way I like it to be around here.

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It’s Possible, But I don’t like it!!

March 30, 2008

It is possible to love someone and not like someone at the same time. I know it, I am going through it, and I so don’t like it. Bryce, oh what to do, what to do, I am at a loss, clueless, frustrated and ready to teeter into a nervous breakdown over him. I so dislike him at this time, yet know deep down I love him still. If I didn’t I wouldn’t even worry, but oh worry is the word every minute of every day right now.

The pride I felt when he joined the Air Force, well you all know, it was awesome and felt so good he was on the right path. Then yep all hell breaks loose, he quits before he gives it a chance and ends up back home. Had money for awhile from his pay in the service, then income tax but yeah he learned that it so doesn’t last. He even looked and found a job. Not the best job in the world but a job none the less. It was a security position for the Fred Meyer store during their re-model and the hours 10pm to 7am. First day scheduled, did he go??  No, decided those hours weren’t good, didn’t want to do it.

He applied for a few on line and that was it, no hitting the pavement looking, no follow up on the ones he applied for , no effort in even looking!!  He sleeps til whenever, gets up, has breakfast and on the computer playing games or in his room playing games.  That’s his life.  I did give him a list of chores to do while he is unemployed but yeah that didn’t last.  His chores, clean his room, the main bathroom, vacuum, dust, dishes, and trash.  That lasted like two days if that.  I so can’t live in this house waiting for the work to get done mid afternoon when he gets his butt out of bed.  Yes, I have gone in to wake him alot, to no avail.

So then tried talking with him, asking his goals, what he plans to do etc.  That ended in a huge fight trust me there.  He is so damn arrogant and to him, the world owes him and he shouldn’t have to take any  menial job for minimum wage.  I tried talking to hubby but he gets sooooooooooo upset, I don’t want us arguing.  My daughter and son just tell me to kick him out.  That is one thing I can not do ever.  Hey we take in people not kick them out!!!  So I feel so alone with all of this.  I am the one home every day seeing him waste his life playing games and doing nothing.  I can’t get away like hubby can.  He goes to work each day and doesn’t have to be around it.  I have absolutely NO ONE to talk to and just feel like I am on the edge of a nervous breakdown.  Like standing on the edge of a cliff, one gust of wind and I am a goner.  I just don’t know what to do anymore.

Yesterday I tried talking to him again.  No yelling etc like I want, just talk.  Did it work? hell no, he ended up going into his room and I never saw him til just a few minutes ago this morning when he got up.  His light was on at 12:30am when I went to bed, so yeah he was playing games and not a care in the world.

So no insurance on the car after next week, he owes on a credit  card I didn’t know he had, and has other bills, no job and no ambition.  I so didn’t raise him, well partially raise him that way.  I don’t want to blame his up bringing cause hell he has lived with us for 9 years now so that’s long enough to establish responsibilities and priorities.   Bye now he should know that in this family we work and we work hard for what we want, to make sure bills are paid and everyone pulls their weight.  Before my foot problem I worked out and was dedicated, and now I feel dedicated to mama and the house, so why doesn’t he see that?  I mean we take such pride in what we do how we accomplish things and most of all being a family.  With his attitude he is tearing this family apart and makes life plain miserable. Oh we go on and do our thing but it just doesn’t seem right.  I know the family isn’t complete, I know I have feeling of dislike and hate to admit but at times even resentment.  I mean seriously I have all ready raised my kids, so at this point in life I feel I should be having things easier, not all the worry arguing, resentment.  Pity part huh?  Could be I just don’t even know anymore.  Here I am in knots and turmoil all the time when I think of him and him; yeah not a care in the world except his video games.

I have nothing against games, hell I bowl every night but everything is taken care of by the time hubby and I bowl.  Priorities matter.

So my next move is today I am telling him he has until April 15th to find a job or else all games, computers , hand held game etc are MINE!!!  He can sit and do absolutely nothing for all I care but the electronics will not be available to him at all.  I am wondering if that will work.  Dang something has to before I totally lose it.  I am so worried about him and his future it literally makes me sick.

I know we are enabling him by not kicking him out but that is the one thing I will not do.  I so couldn’t live with myself knowing he was out there somewhere, nope I am not that kind of person.  Right now I am just going to do alot of praying and hope he will eventually shape up.  Dang don’t know what else to do.

Sorry to go on and on I know you all have bigger and worst problems but I had to hit the “release” valve in me today and with no one to talk to, figured maybe writing it out will help.


That Dang “Wabbit”

March 29, 2008

Oh if I could just get my hands on the Easter Bunny, I would mmmm strangle him??  No, hug him?  Not sure but you can bet I would do something!!!

Just tell me why does he have to leave only the good candy?  The peanut butter eggs, small ones, big ones, the star burst all in his pastel colors, the m& m’s, the hershey kisses, jelly beans, small candy bars and oh worst of all that white chocolate shaped in his likeness!!!!  He has to realize that stuff doesn’t just sit in a bowl on the table looking pretty. Oh hell no, it seriously hops right over no matter where I sit and manages to even hop into my mouth.  Yep it’s there, all sizes and shapes of it.  And you know what?  It doesn’t matter the time either.  It hops morning, noon and night!!!!  Dang Wabbit anyway!!!


Is Hubby Falling Apart???

March 28, 2008

Wow I so think he is.  I told him he is just practicing at being “old” tee hee.  He will be 60 in July but wow after his drs appt the other day I think he’s going on 80!!!!

He went in to have his hand checked.  He has had this growth, bump, lump something growing just at the bottom of his pinky finger, on the palm side.  Well when he first noticed it the doctor told him they have to see 5 of them before anything can be done.  WHAT??!!  Is that crazy “doctoring” or what??  Anyway fine no biggie to him.  Well now it is, this growth, bump, lump whatever is awful.  Hard as a rock, huge and it has pulled his pinky down.  He can’t straighten that finger at all and now the other fingers are following it.  No way can he straighten any of them and he said it’s painful.  But there’s the one huge lump and a few smaller ones developing, not five.  Anyway at his appointment the other day he showed the doctor and guess what??  They aren’t waiting now until there’s five of them   WHAT??!! So why did they let it get this far to begin with?  Dang I so don’t understand their logic!!!  His fingers are bent to 30% and I am taking that means he only can open them 30%, does that sound right?  So now he has to go to the orthopedic clinic so they can schedule surgery.  She ( doctor) told him they will open his hand along the tendon, then cut out the lumps, cut and stretch the tendon and also pull the tendons in all his fingers.  OUCH!!!!!  I can’t get his appt set up until Monday though.  I called this morning like the dr said to, but it takes TWO full working days for a consult to be processed, so they told me to call back on Monday.  Gotta love Madigan, NOT!!!!

Along with his hand, his blood pressure med or one of them cause he takes two kinds, was changed, water pills not working so that too was changed, another pill added and then all the blood work that was needed.

His “budda belly” that seemed to have popped out overnight is due to one of the prescriptions he was on, so that had to be changed also.  His constant annoying cough also a side effect from a drug so that one was changed!!!  He walked in with a dang grocery bag ( yeah I exaggerate here) full of pills, wow.  So many I am wondering if he shouldn’t  just chuck them all and maybe he would feel much better!!!

He is a doctors dream, huh?  Plus they want him in physical therapy for his back.  He has a bulging disk which does give him tons of problems.  The PT he is passing on, and I so don’t blame him.  To me well I think it does more harm than good.

So there you have it, my poor old creaky bone hubby.  I wonder if a few shots of 3 in 1 oil would help him out.  Greasy those ol joints make them move without all the creaking and cracking that goes on!!!!  That might be better than the crap load of pills he has to take!!!!

I only hope the surgery won’t have lingering effects and that he won’t have alot of pain after.  I am sure he will need physical therapy for his fingers seeing how they have been bent for so long, but he will do that, I will make sure.  I am preparing myself to be there for him through it all and help him as much as I can, yet still make sure mama isn’t put on the back burner.  Dang the entire house will be full of gimps huh?

Anyone want to go shopping with us? hahahaha Picture it~~~~~~~ Ron bandaged hand, mama in her wheelchair and me in my boot!! hahahahahahahahhaha OH MY GOSH!!!  But hey we do get handi cap parking so you all won’t have to walk far!!!


Just Reading

March 28, 2008

I have just spent time re-reading all the blogs I have in my blog roll ( wish I had more) and my heart just grew, yet I actually had tears in my eyes too.  I am totally amazed at the caring, concern, friendship, bantering, love and support that is flowing through all of this.  I mean this is a total lifeline to me, and I see it is to everyone else too.  Each and everyone of you that leave comments on the blogs are fantastic.  You always seem to have the right words, the answers, the support, and it comes straight from the heart.  It’s not just words to fill a space, it’s real!!!!   For only knowing each other through the computer it’s so great and oh what a support system.  I know I always feel so good knowing that people actually do read what I write, the good the bad and the ugly, and actually comment.  Always, always the comments lift me and seem to make things right again.  I honestly feel like all of you are one with me  and each other.

I have friends here but since I have stopped working , taken in the twins, them my foot problem that slowed me way down, and then mama, well alot of my ( our) friends have shied away.  I don’t blame them really, we are all at the age where you are supposed to just pick up and go.  Me I can’t do that and hey it’s by my choosing, except my foot of course.  Now I have you all and yes, each and everyone of you I consider my close friends!!!  A few I have even adopted and am now the Internet Aunt and Grandma.  I absolutely love it too!!!

I know when I read of someone’s hurt, pain, frustration, etc I am there with them feeling it all.  I feel the joy when I read those and yes I even sit here by myself laughing my head off!!!   I laugh, I cry, and yep I sigh when I read about the love between families it’s great!!!!

Thanks to all of you that I have met and that take the time to read my blog and comment, I so appreciate it, more than you all will ever know!!!


Back In Washington

March 26, 2008

Well so hard to believe our trip to Idaho is behind us.  Where did the time go?  We had such a great trip and mama was awesome.  My worries about her, didn’t need them.  She did great on the ride over, had a wonderful time there and even told me she didn’t want to leave.  My daughters stairs were killers on all of us helping mama up, but hey we did it.  Mama did it, was a trooper about them really. Yeah my daughters house is a TRI LEVEL grrrrrrrrrrrrr stairs everywhere you look!!!
Oh my hubby was a total gem.  He sat with mama alot and I actually got to spend time with the girls.  We shopped, we talked, I blew a thousand bubbles haha while the kids chased and popped them, but dang it was awesome.  I got to be a grandma, knowing mama was in good hands.

Easter just the very best.  We started out with the 8am mass, early but we made it.  Hubby once again a gem, stayed home to watch mama and got a great breakfast ready.  Got back had the egg hunt, then I got mama up and ready.  We all opened our baskets and just one happy time.  Everyone was pleased and the squeal out of Miranda, priceless.  Little ones make the day!!!  Well even the big kids were excited, Mikayla grinning from ear to ear as were the twins and Steve.  Andy was the funniest.  Loves his sno cone shack and put his shirt on right away and was ready to “open for business”.  Yeah NOT it was still morning , no sno cones hahaha.

We had a great breakfast and then it was get dinner ready while everyone messed with their Easter goodies.  A perfect meal with family, wow am I lucky or what.  Our son called so he was a part of the day too.

Every day spent in Idaho was full of laughter, excitement, adventure and just plain wonderful.  No arguing just one big happy family.   The days just flew by like a blur, crazy how fast they went.  But guess it’s true, time flies when you are having fun.

The trip home went real well, even the weather co-operated.  We had the heat then hit a little snow flurries as we headed over the mountain pass. Saw tons of snow up on the pass and then back down to the heat.  Mama awesome once again.  She was talking ( on the way over too) and it was like a real conversation.  She would mention the snow, the rocks, the trains she saw just totally with it.  It did my heart good to see her that way.

My camera was going constantly but I didn’t even have time to get on and post any pics, so the poor people on my shutterfly list, they are so going to hate me.  Haha but I will send anyway cause I know everyone has a delete button!!!  I tell you I snapped everything and everyone didn’t want to miss a trick!!!

Today it’s catch up on the blogs, get some emails out, balance the checkbook ( which took a beating shopping, but oh well) and yep get my massage.   Hubby is busy with a dental appt this morning and then a doctors appt this afternoon, so I won’t see much of him today.   But he need the drs appt desparately, gotta keep him healthy right?

Here’s our Easter table full of baskets, yep we did have fun and I so miss everyone in Idaho!!!  It’s always good to get home but you know I am torn.  I love my house but want to live closer to my daughter, mmm wonder if I can move my house too when hubby retires!!!!

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I’m All Set Now

March 20, 2008

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Okay anyone want a donut before I bag them up and take them to Idaho??  Yeah I was up real early, got laundry going then the donuts.   My family loves them so I have to double batch them.  The first picture they are the regular donuts.  Me I love them with peanut butter on them.  The second picture raised donuts.  Everyone likes both so hey while we are all together we may as well get fat and happy, right???

After the donuts got my things packed and mama’s.  Haha hubby has to pack his own, hell I have no clue what he wants to wear!!!  🙂  Yeah I know I am bad, but hey he’s a big boy!!

Then I made a frame to hold the thatched roof over the basket, and just gathered it all and started loading the car.  Angie no pics cause it was pouring rain, of course.  Yeah stopped and sun came out once we were finished.  Whew we managed to get all but my bunny basket in the carrier.  Great hiding place don’t you think?

But okay prior to that hubby goes out to put the carrier on.  Mind you I have had the carrier for mmm a little over a month, and TODAY he decides to see if it will be okay!!  Guess what ???  It wasn’t.  My car has the rack on top but only the long ones on each side.  To hold the carrier you need the two cross bars!!!!  Hubby called the Chevy dealer. Yep, they could order the two bars but couldn’t get them until late tomorrow afternoon!!!  To the tune of $279!!!!!  NOT! NOT!  So hubby calls Schucks.  Yep they have something they can possibly rig, to the tune of $170.  What???  Rig something and charge that much?? NO WAY!!!  Then it hit me, wow, call a junk yard, why not??!!!  The second one I called actually had one, so I meekly ask HOW MUCH!!!  He says “Ummm, well would you pay me 25 for the pair?”  HELL yeah we would and so hubby took off and got them.  Okay now we are set but yeah by the time he got them, put them on etc hours have passed.  Why do men wait til the very last minute??  Funny he still isn’t packed and it’s almost bowling time!!!!!

And he just finished up my bunny,  Well I helped him w/ the eyes, nose and whiskers but he did such a fantastic job, I love my bunny.  I will post a pic of him probably next blog.

All fell into place and yep I am ready to hit the road bright and early tomorrow morning.  We hope to be heading up Graham Hill towards the mountain by 8am!!!!!   I am bringing my computer so hell yeah I will be reading all your blogs daily!!!  Gotta have my friends with me you know!!!!!