Brotherly Love

September 27, 2007

Well Bryce had a good meeting with the Air Force recruiter yesterday and right now as I am writing this he is on his way down to take his ASVAB test. If he gets the score needed, his job will be linguistics. He wants to learn Japanese and be an interpreter.

Next will be drug test, physical and then a few months of learning things, and leave in January for basic training in San Antonio, Texas. Beautiful city and I spent alot of time there when hubby was hospitalized.

Bryce is “flying high” so to speak but Ashley ( his twin sister) ohhhhhhhh having one heck of a time accepting the entire enlistment idea. She is almost to the point of devastation and I do feel bad for her. The kids are so darn close and have never been apart. They live off each other I think. But all they have been through in their lives of course has managed to bring them that close. They have overcome so much and did it together.

Last night, well around 12:30am when Ashley got home from work, she headed right into Bryce’s room to “talk.” She told us she wants to make sure Bryce is making the right decision, doesn’t want to see him go, hates the idea of not seeing him everyday, etc.

This morning Bryce told us he had a long talk with her and he’s hoping she can accept it better now, but said he still has alot more re-assuring to do with her.

It’s like breaking up a set and of course it’s going to be hard on all of us. I tried to step into Ashley’s shoes and tried to relate to her feelings on this. I can’t to be honest with you. For starters I didn’t have the rough childhood they did, and two I am not a twin. The kids have overcome so much and at times have only had each other to rely on, so yeah I am sure it’s extremely difficult to know it’s time for them to go their separate ways.

Funny though all these years I always thought it would be Ashley that would break away, not Bryce. She has always been the mature one, the go getter etc. Guess that goes to show you just never know. Bryce has grown and matured by leaps and bounds since he got out of the”Meaghan” relationship, and I feel he knows what he is doing right now. I know it’s a good decision and it will give him a great start on life. I am sure he can eventually get Ashley to see that too. Hubby and I have talked to her but we know it’s not the same. Coming from Bryce is so much better.

Mikayla, our granddaughter that lives in Idaho is upset. She told her mom she doesn’t know what to do when she stays here next summer and Bryce won’t be here. Can you tell our grandchildren are close?? Oh yeah all four of them are and to me it’s great. It’s sorta sad to know that the time is here, two of the grandkids are adults now, oh my!!!! Things change, one will leave, the three left will be sad, but in the long run, their love for each other will help overcome any sadness. Life goes on huh?

Will I have the “empty nest syndrome?” You bet I will but also I will know there’s one that is going to make a good life for himself. Ashley is on the road to making her career happen and then I will have to go through another leaving, YIKES.

I used to kid around and tell them my retirement days will start when they are out and on their own, but wow , I don’t want that now. I ( we) have raised these kids and have taken them to a new level, and look, now I am not liking it. Crazy jumble of emotions have taken over my mind, that’s for sure. Grandpa is in a different sort of mood. He is very proud, yes even though it’s Air Force and not the Army, haha, but he is also wondering what life is going to be like without Bryce here with us. Oh we gripe alot cause Bryce isn’t doing this that and the other thing, but you all know love for your family overcomes all that. Grandpa tried to talk to Ashley but kind of choked up a bit so he stopped. Come departure day for Bryce there will be a bunch of blubbering idiots in this house, I all ready know that!!! 🙂

But right now we have him until January so yeah I feel the closeness will be even more noticeable and we will be cramming in memories to hold us over until he completes basic training and we get to see him again. The House of Mis-Fits is changing guys, so bear with me if I have some teary posts, okay?? It’s mixed emotions and I know Bryce has chosen the right path in life, and for that I am proud and happy for him.


A Thought

September 26, 2007

Well here’s a thought hubby and I were kicking around yesterday, then had a nice long chat with our grandson at 2am!! yeah nuts aren’t we? No wonder I over slept this morning and didn’t get up til 6:25am, making our granddaughter almost late for her first class.  The college is so far away and with the traffic I am hoping she made it on time!!

Anyway our thought, Bryce should join the Air Force Reserves.  His job he has is a nowhere job right now.  He is lucky to get 18 hours a week.  Then his schedule will say 5pm to 11:30pm, yet they have the nerve to keep him there til one in the morning!! Sucks big time . He has so much down time and needs to start looking for a new job, hence the idea of the reserves.

Funny thing though, he told us at work he had been thinking of joining the Air Force full time!!!  What the hell???!!!!  Is that some sort of sign?  Is it fate?  I don’t know but we ( hubby, Bryce and I) got talking of the pro’s and cons of the Air Force.  Bryce is extremely intelligent and no he didn’t get it from me, got that from his dad.  Anyway he could basically do anything but he really want linguistic ( sp    ??)  He all ready has one yr of Japanese under his belt and he wants to take that as far as he can and be a translator or something.  The Air Force would pay all college expenses, he would have a steady pay check, he’s single so no responsibilities really,  would be able to afford a car, car insurance etc.  The only con’s we came up with were; the possibility of going to Iraq, but he said he knows he wouldn’t be in the front lines, and the worst for him, they would “buzz” his hair!!!!! Right now he has a “mop” of curls and long hair over his eye style, which of course drives me nuts.  I just want to get my scissors and FIX IT!!!

So today he is going down to the recruiter to get the ball rolling.  My thoughts are mixed.  I know it’s the very best thing in the world for him, but hell I will miss him.  We have had  our ROYAL BATTLES trust me on that, but he has come around and turned himself around.  He is our life and to see him head out into the big world , well honestly it scares the shit out of me.  I keep telling myself he is almost 19 yrs old and needs to get a life, but mmmm it’s still tough.  Being a mom/grandma sometimes is a hindrance  you know???  But deep down I know it’s the place for him.

Our son went in the army and it really helped him in life, tremendously.  His medical school all paid for and now he is doing awesome.  Has been part of many heart transplant teams and just has gone so far in the medical field.

My husband is a 20 army retiree and hey it’s great.  Oh there were tough times in those 20 yrs, but we saw so much of the world, the travel, the security all so worth it.  So coming from living the military life to having our grandson join, is a huge WOW.

I am very proud of Bryce right now for even thinking in that direction, so now it’s see how it goes.  I know if it’s meant to be it will happen for him, and he will be aok!!! Oh so hard to let go, it really is even the “second” time around raising kids, it’s tough.

Hey I did manage to get through yesterday without bonging myself with this cast, yahoo.  I even tried to knit again, it’s awkward but what the hell.  I figure I made a dress one handed so I bet I can find a way to continue my knitting, and I did. It’s slow going but at least now I know I can do it.   No cast will slow me down , that is unless I knock myself out with it hahaha.  Don’t want to do that!!

Today my sister goes for more testing so please keep your prayers headed her way.  For info on her, read Kelly M’s blog!!

Have a good one!!!


Well Darn Anyway

September 25, 2007

Bigger than the last!!

Yeah can you believe this crap??  Here last week I was bragging about getting the report no breaks and whipping off that cast so fast, and having hubby trash it.  Didn’t write that not 10 minutes later I was begging him to dig it out of the trash due to the dang pain.  Trust me I am so not a stranger to pain and feel my tolerance is high due to this RSDS I have.  BUT, oh geeze the thumb, it was the sick to your stomach, gut wrenching type and I couldn’t hang!!!

Anyway it was off to the doctors yet again for another follow up, Madigan loves their follow ups!!!  This time it was the cast room and the ortho doctor.  More x-rays and after a THREE AND A HALF HOUR wait, I have a hairline fracture in my thumb of all places!!!  So here I go another three weeks in a cast.  This one ugh, placed differently and so much thicker, hard to get used to, but guess I have no choice huh??

I had my appt for 10:45am.  I knew I couldn’t leave mama sleeping cause that would be way late for her by the time I got back home.  So had my grandson come with us and he was going to stay in the car with mama.  After that I promised to buy him lunch at the PX, cause he says the food court there is the best.   No problem, after all the cast room appt always are fast.  I know because a few years back with my foot I had six months of serial casting.  Would go over every Wednesday get the full leg cast cut off and another one put on, grrr.  Anyway in I go check in, get more x-rays and wait.  And wait, and wait and wait.  Finally at noon I asked how much longer.  Yeah he says well you have NINE people ahead of you!!!  WHAT??!!!!  He tells me the doctor is running behind.  NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never would have guessed that after a few hours of wait time.  So I go out to the car, cause yeah I left my phone out there. Checking up on mama and Bryce to make sure all was aok.  Poor Bryce in the car 3 1/2 hours answering all of mama’s repeated questions , but he did awesome and I am proud of him for that.  I finally got out of there at 1:30pm.  Trust me we were all starving and I couldn’t get to the PX fast enough!!!!!!  I was also extremely bummed to be sporting another cast but not much I can do about it!!!! Just grin and bear it.

Okay now for the funny!!!  You have to know me by now, right?  I so don’t mean to be funny it just happens okay??!!!  Each night during our “wii-wii” time 🙂  I get into the game!!!!  When I miss or get a split I have a habit of putting my right hand like on my head. You know bend the elbow and like reach for the other side of your head, so the arm is smack on top, got it??  Remember I said this cast was heavier and on different???  MMMMM the cast is now on the side that lays on top of my head.  Yep sure enough, crap nearly knocked myself out the first time I missed a pin..  Whipped that arm over my head like “oh no” and damn clunked myself with this damn plaster.  I let out a yelp and my husband was like “what the hell is wrong?”  Yeah he got himself a good long laugh over that one!!!  Damn I am shocked I don’t have goose egg this morning, cause I kept forgetting and just continued to whack myself on the head all night long.  Habit are so hard to break !!!!!   Plus my bowling lately sucks big time, so lot’s of whacks to says the least!! Tonight I have to do my best to break that one though!!!

That way my day yesterday, so I am hoping today is much better!! Have a few errands to run.  Stopped at the Good Will on the way home yesterday and found the white flats for my granddaughters costume, brand new and only $3.99, plus found a white cardigan sweater for her too.  She did get her dress yesterday and whew it fits perfectly!!!  go Grandma, hahaha  See I rock when it comes to keeping the grandkids happy!!! hahaha.


Sisters

September 24, 2007

For those of us fortunate, or even maybe unfortunate, to have sisters I am sure you can all relate to this.  I have three sisters but not close to one.  Nope , it’s like talking to a stranger, that is when talking even takes place.  Do I miss her?  Actually , yes I do, very much.  I know there will never again be a closeness between us, but do feel good that at least now she is e-mailing me.  It’s a start to healing and forgetting the past at least.  I answer all her emails but do find it difficult.  I just want to totally open up, be relaxed etc but can’t.  But I will take the formality because at least there is some communication.

My other sister, am I close to her?  Well, to an extent but not like I want to be.  This sister is a great person, has her quirks but don’t we all.  She is always caring , giving and to be honest she intimidates me. I have told her this, so I am not talking out of turn here. Not slamming her at all, because there is nothing to slam.  She has a very busy lifestyle and I just don’t feel there’s room for me.  I know the phone works two ways and know I should call more often but I don’t.  I could give you a list of excuses why I don’t, but they would all be a lie.  I don’t call because I am intimidated.  She doesn’t want to hear my voice when she has so many others she is involved with.

She is going through a hard time right now and my heart goes out to her. I want to be there but living on the west coast puts a damper on that one.   I want to be her support, but I know she has lots of support from other.  I feel I would be a bother more than a help.  I told her I am here anytime day or night and I just hope she knows I am serious about that.

My third sister , there , she is a sister.  We talk every single day on the phone.  We laugh constantly, are relaxed, can tell each other anything and just plain get along.  She has her problems and there are times I just want to hang up.  I get upset with her but still call and I do get over it.  I have accepted her lifestlye to an extent, and I let it go.  It’s her drinking problem but intervention from me won’t help her.  Again the miles that separate us  YIKES too many.

This sister is the one I am going to spend the week with ,the end of October.  I promised her when her husband died, that I would be there every anniversary so she isn’t alone, and this is year two and I will be there!!!

A long time ago she called out here and I answered, but she thought it was my daughter Brandi. Yeah, a very long time ago cause Brandi hasn’t lived at home in 15 yrs.  Anyway she said “Is your mother there?”  I of course said “no” so she asks “Well where is she?”  My reply knowing she didn’t realize she was talking to me, was “She is in New York.”  Not a lie cause my mama was in N Y at the time.  OMG she got so excited, yelling , screaming, saying ” NEW YORK!!!When did she leave, when will she get here?  Is she going to surprise me?”  Then hollers and tells her husband and daughter that I was going over.  That so did it, I totally lost it, started laughing and so couldn’t stop.  She then realized she was talking to me and I was still in Washington.  That set the pace and we laughed like fools.  So much so I was tossing the phone to my kids and hubby cause I couldn’t talk, due to the laughter.  She was tossing her phone to her daughter and husband for the same reason.  We laughed soooooooooooooooooo hard and honestly for about a month after that we couldn’t talk.  She would call me, or I would call her and say “Is your mother there?” or I would just yell “New York” and we would start laughing all over again!!!  To this day that’s all we have to say “NEW YORK” and we  loose  it, laughing til our stomachs hurt and the tears are streaming down our face.

We do silly things..One year we got snow and they of course got nailed with tons of snow.  She asked me how much we got and I exaggerated and  said we had two feet,so she wanted a picture to  prove it.  Okay  I went out on the deck and took a pic of my two feet in the snow and sent it to her.  Just little things like that constantly and we laugh for hours over it.

That right there is the relationship I want with my other two sisters but I can’t seem to get it to that point.  The fun, giggly, and yes serious be there for each other relationship.  No matter what sisters through everything and letting nothing interfere with the closeness.  How on earth to I accomplish that with the other two I have no clue.  I don’t think I can to be honest with “myself”but I do long for it.

I realize each one has different personalities and we all have our quirks but I just sit sometimes and wonder why we still can’t be close.  I long for it but think after all these years have accepted the way things are going.  There’s always hope though you know?

I would love to hear about everyone’s siblings  Think it would be interesting to see how other family relationships are going.

I could write a book on my sisters but won’t bore you all.  My brothers well had two, one passed away and the other, hell wouldn’t know him if I tripped over him.  Sad but true.

K will be waiting to hear some “sisterly or brotherly love” antidotes.


Yahoo

September 21, 2007

Received a letter for Madigan and no breaks so hell yeah, within one SECOND that cast came  off my arm. OOSPIE the thumb is sore but it will get better.  I am supposed to go to the cast room for further treatment.  So not going to happen, they will do something funky with my thumb and that I don’t want.  Tendons and ligaments heal over time no amount of casting will help that, so all is well.

Finished my granddaughters Halloween dress today, finally.  Dang I should have waited a week and then I could have been able to use two hands, darn.  Oh well it was okay with just the one and it turned out okay.
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Not doing much except sewing and hanging out.  Weather has turned chilly and fall is in the air.  I like this time of year but still miss summer. We had a lousy one, so see feel like I missed it completely.

Went shopping yesterday and stuck with my game plan for this year.  I figure  each time I go shopping , I will pick up one Christmas gift.  Got my youngest granddaughter one of the Hanna Montana dolls that sings.  She is so into Hanna Montana and wants “everything” of course.  What is strange is knowing that it won’t  be long before December is  breathing down out neck.  Time is just zipping right on by so I know I  had to start  some serious shopping NOW.  I have  a few all ready taken care of  so that’s a plus.  Of course the major gifts will wait until the very last minute.  Little things are the ones that can add up fast, don’t you think?  See that’s what I think, so will knock all the little things off early this year.

Hubby and I are still bowling every night and still loving it.  Crank up the music and go for it!!!  It’s our time and I for one don’t ever want to give it up.  Quality time but oh geeze lately frustrating cause instead of improving, dang my bowling sucks eggs!!! I guess that proves that PRACTICE DOES NOT MAKE PERFECT!!!!  Heck as much as I have bowled I should have it down!!! No way, it’s not happening, but I keep trying.  A quitter I am not! Besides I am having fun trying for the perfect game so can’t ask for any more than that.

Can you tell I am rambling?  Not alot going on so not alot to blog about.  Makes for a “sleeper” doesn’t it?  So guess I will scoot for now. Have a good one everyone!!


She’s A Big Girl Now!!!

September 19, 2007

Ashley’s ( granddaugher) first day of college today!!  Wow so hard for me to believe, where did the years go?  I so remember seeing her there in the incubator no bigger than a minute, tons of tubes all over, and adorable.  She fit in Grandpa’s hand just perfectly, and now she is in college!!!!

I have been having flashbacks of all the little things from the day she was born to the day we finally got them, to graduation and now college.

Kelly M remember meeting the twins when they were 4 yrs old?  They we singing “Achey Breaky Heart” all the way to Santa’s workshop!!  🙂  Cute lil buggers huh?  And Ashley still such a tiny little thing huh?

I am very proud of all Ashley’s accomplishments and adjustments, she has come a long way that’s for sure.  Her childhood was extremely rough to say the least, so she had no choice but to be a fighter.  A fighter and a survivor, and she is doing awesome.  I believe she is finally happy now, truly happy and I am “happy ” for her.  Lots of “happy” there huh?

She is determined to make it to Broadway and be part of the orchestra’s for the Broadway shows, music is her life.  I feel she will make it too and encourage her in every way I can.

Funny how one step in life can open the flood gates to tons of memories, good and bad but today my head is just spinning with all that has happened in her 18 yrs of life.  I know there’s tons of children out there that have gone through much harder times, but when it’s so close, one tends to go on that and think it’s the worst.  Her life was bad living with her mom, a druggie, and someone that didn’t want her from the get go.  Her mom didn’t know she was having twins, and she just wanted to keep Bryce.  Changed her tune real fast when I told her we would take Ashley.  I honestly believe she kept her to use as a pawn so she could milk us for everything , and it worked too.  We had a gut instinct that we needed to be here for the twins and oh yeah 10 yrs it took but we won and got them both!!!

While Ashley lived with her mom she had to do everything , I mean cook, clean , dishes etc from a very young age.  Horror stories galore that I won’t bore anyone with.  Just wanted you all to know what Ashley has overcome and to know how proud I am that she is now in college!!!  Oh yeah she is a big  girl now, but like all our grandchildren, she knows she will always be our “little” girl ( and boy) even when she is 80!!!!

Children can overcome any situation with lots of TLC and Ashley is living proof of that!!  Yep can you tell this is one proud Grandma??!!!  I am!!


Just Stuff

September 18, 2007

Not a very original title is it?  That’s all I have people, nothing else this morning, the ol brain is in slow mode.

I have been TRYING to sew since Sunday.  My goodness seems like I just get going and get interrupted or the dang bobbin acts up.  I have walked away more times than not, but am making progress on the dress for my granddaughter. I swear I could have had ten dresses made my now.

Sunday I got everything out and ready to spend the afternoon and completing the dress by evening.  So didn’t happen.  First I had company from 11:30 am until 4pm.  Once they left I started and oopsie, something wrong with the bobbin housing on my machine.  At first I thought it was the tension but not.  Hubby took it apart , YIKES , to clean oil etc and whew, no left over pieces when he put it back together.  Still a no go. Stopped to eat supper, which hubby cooked, then after supper tackled the machine again.  By the time I got out the book and got things working it was getting late so decided not to sew.  Haha yeah after all that , I didn’t sew one stitch!!!

Yesterday had to run over and have more x-rays, then stop at the store on the way home . Got home in time to get mama up and started on her day.  Once she was settled in front of the tv around 3pm, I got started.  I was on a roll, got the top of the dress just about finished when I realized I needed the boning before I put the liner on.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr  Okay no biggie, my granddaughter said she would go get some for me.  So put that aside and started on the skirt.  Again on a roll, only one side left to sew up, bam the dang old @#@# bobbin again, sticking, knotting, tangling underneath etc.  Yep just walked away figuring today is another day!!!!!

Trying to sew with this cast is a trip in itself, let alone fight with the bobbin.  My thumb haha; that hummer is so in the way.  Dang cast doesn’ t bend either and I so can’t get it to cooperate sewing or ironing, so it’s mostly one handed dress making for now.  It’s “do-able” but also a tad strange, but where’s there’s a will, there’s a way!!

I was totally dumb the other day, yeah, believe it or not!!!  🙂  Was laying on mama’s bed just chatting and laughing before I got her up, moved my arm and yep, popped myself right smack in the lip.  Blood all over the place, I split my lip with the dang casted thumb!!!  ( done laughing yet?  Good )  So now salt hits my fat lip and yikes does it sting.  See the cast just has to come off, it’s way too dangerous!!!!

Last week had one tire on my car that was low, so hubby filled it, good to go.  Last night he comes in and tells me I have a flat tire.  Nope, not the same one either, grrr. I think I may have run over something yesterday so that would explain the flat.  I was  taking off from a red light ( it was green then !) heard a noise and was wondering what it was.  No doubt some jerk dropped something off the back of his truck who knows!!!!  My luck I hit it and screwed up my tire.   Good thing hubby is off today so he can fix it, I know I sure can’t.

It’s turning colder here, brrrr!!! Today received my winterizing kit to close the pool, so guess it’s that time.  We had such a lousy summer didn’t get enough swim time in to suit me.  There’s always next year.

Days just fly by and seems like there’s always some little thing that goes wrong, or screws up or something  but hey it’s all good. We manage to overcome and move on.  Like the other night got things out for milkshakes, pull out the ol milkshake machine and not stir.  You know the main part that mixes the ingredients!!! I always store it all together too. Hubby tore apart the cupboard and checked every drawer, that lil hummer is nowhere to be found!!!  So what , did it get up and walk away???  It’s anyone’s guess.  Instead of getting mad I just tossed everything into a bowl and used the good ol mixer, had shakes for all!!!  I have learned to take deep breaths and “wing” it.  The only way to overcome I guess.

So that’s what’s been going on here , just tooling alone and getting through the day.  Of course every night is still our WiiWii time!!!  🙂  Yep hubby and I still bowl til the “wii” hours of the morning and still love it.  Crank up the music, get the wii wii stools out, my RC and we are ready to go.  I still don’t have a perfect game, darn.  Hubby has nine of them, how he does it I’ll never know.  I have improved but grrrr manage to screw up at least one frame every time.  It’s just plain fun and yep I guess you could say an addiction!!!!   🙂  I feel every family needs a Wii, no home is complete without one!!!!  Good clean family fun!!!!  Yeah this coming from someone that frowned on video games for years, uh oh what happened to me!!!

K checking the clock I see it’s time to get mama up and started on here day.  Have to get her showered, fed and settled cause yahoo today is the day for my massage, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!  Gotta love it!!