Are all of you just as confused as I am? Yeah with the holiday yesterday, it has messed up my poor lil pea brain. This morning I kept thinking it’s Monday, so now have to keep telling myself it isn’t. Guess it doesn’t take much to mess me up any more.
A different Memorial Day for us but it was a nice relaxing one. I did some deep cleaning and actually enjoyed it. Am I crazy or what? I surface clean of course but do tend to get lax when it comes to a good ol fashioned deep cleaning. So decided one room a day and that way I won’t get tired of it.
Yesterday was mama’s room from cleaning the windows down to shampooing the carpet. Once it was completed not only did it smell and look good, but it made me feel good. An accomplishment for me, I can tell you that much.
With my foot it makes it hard to keep going some days, so on the days I manage to do something “big”, oh I feel good. I know once again I have beaten the RSDS and that I like.
Many years ago I had a doctor tell me there wasn’t enough time in the day to help me, that I would be wheelchair bound within the year. You know I think his attitude helped me, even though at the time I was so ready to deck the sucker. He was very rude, told me to just go home, I was wasting my time trying to get help for something that was hopeless. Yeah he had me in tears, the anger flaring, the whole nine yards of emotions, but now days I actually thank him. I made up my mind that I will so prove him wrong. Well in most ways that is. Yes, he was correct in saying there was no cure, but wrong to tell me I would be wheelchair bound. I refused to believe that and here I am, still mobile!!!! Some days not too steady and so wanting to just give up, but that’s so not me. I feel this RSDS is mind over matter. Anything actually is mind over matter and you have to really work at it, which I feel I do. I figure hey I hurt no matter what, so why not get the most out of life, instead of just giving into the hurt. I do take longer than the average person to do anything, but that’s okay, it does get done. I am capable of doing alot , know my limitations, but sometimes, okay, alot of times I tend to over do. That will put me down for a few days, to just doing what has to be done. Then I re-coup and carry on.
I am so not bragging here, well maybe a tad, because I some times find it hard to believe I am mobile!!! I do have my “pity parties” but mostly when I am alone and I cuss and ask “why, did this happen to me?” , but then I so know the answer.
You know when they say everything happens for a reason?? Well I think my RSDS happened to one slow me down, as I used to work tons of hours. My job was so important to me and I would travel, train, and just practically live at my job, but loved it so much. When we got the twins I slowed down some, but not like I should have.
Once my foot got to the worst stage possible yes, I had to stop working all together. I wasn’t giving my 110% plus at home I was giving nothing. I would get home and just be in agony, be miserable, and yeah I was a class A bitch. Ashamed to admit, but I was. I couldn’t handle the pain so took it out on everyone around here.
By not working I could pace myself, sit and “elevate” ( oh how I despise that word) when needed and also I was here for the kids. Many times the kids have told me how glad they are that I am home when they get home from school, and hubby has told me numerous times that he loves having me home. So reason #1 for my foot problem, I slowed down and I became an important part of the family.
Reason #2 mama. I was working when she first came to live with us and it was hard, but her dementia wasn’t as bad. I can’t imaging trying to work now and making sure she was well cared for. I enjoy being here for her also, as she needs so much. So see there is a reason for everything.
On the flip side I attribute my being “mobile” to the twins and mama. If they weren’t here I am so sure I would have given in and not tried so hard to keep going. They have given me a reason to keep going so we all have helped each other so much. Life is funny but if you approach it in a positive way, it’s great. Our lil house of mis-fits works so why rock the boat, huh? We all need help to keep plugging on and we have that help in each other!! So see I am lucky aren’t I?
Now how did I get rambling on that subject, well I have no idea. Must be trying to sort out in my mind why it’s so scrambled some days!! Like today being Tuesday, not Monday!!! Hey see I do have some sort of excuse, don’t you agree?? Please tell me you do!!!