Hot Hot Hot

We survived our hottest days of the year so far and me, well hell I loved it.  Both days it got over 100 degrees on our back deck, and that thermometer is in the shade on the porch part.  So hot it was.  I of course didn’t let mama outside, no way.  I got her up earlier, chatted with her through breakfast and lunch, then around 2pm put her in her room.  Well not “put” dang that sounded cruel didn’t it?  I settled her in her room, tv on, fan on, nice and cool and she was SAFE!!!!  That’s when I headed to the pool!!  I am working my way up to the 25 laps that I was at last year, but whew, it’s tough.  But honestly I floated away, relaxed, no worries and just enjoyed the day.  The heat didn’t bother me at all when I was floating.  I did get a tad red, okay alot red but it is all ready turning to brown.  Bryce and Ashley told Ron don’t worry in a few days we will have “Gramjemima” back again.  Nice kids huh?  

I also had to go buy a new phone.  Apparently there was more wrong with my old one than just replacing the battery.  Hahaha I chuckled when I tossed the new phone into the cart.  I could hear everyone bitching me out , blah blah blah.  Know why?   Tee hee I got the exact same phone!!!  Can’t help myself I love my phone, it’s the stainless steel look, plus the hand set is the perfect size.  I swear some of the hand sets are smaller than a cell phone and I can’t have that. When I am gabbing on the phone it’s normall cradled on my shoulder while I am puttering around.  Either getting dinner, switching out and folding laundry, helping mama etc, so I need the perfect “fit.”  So I was right to chuckle.  I never said anything hooked up the new phone then I finally asked if they liked my new phone.  Oh geeze, they were looking all over the place for it, hahahaa I was loving it.  I think it was Ashley that finally realized it was the same and she started the ripple effect of “What the heck?”  ” Why did you get the same piece of crap?” etc.  I’m happy with it so it’s all that counts!!    

On the way home from my phone purchase I stopped at the lumber yard and got three pieces of plywood.  Our solar panels for the pool were so saggy looking and I knew if they stayed that way a; the sun wasn’t hitting all of them and b; yikes what if they broke?  So got that and Greg helped Ron put them under the panels.  OH WOW what a huge difference that made.   Nice straight panels, no ripples and nice warm water flowing into the pool, yeah that’s what I am talking about!!!!  They are up the way they are supposed to be, amazing huh???     It’s only been what 3 yrs Kelly?  Remember you out here helping us get them up???  I think it’s been 3 or maybe 2 years.  Whatever it’s been way too long and all I can say is it’s about time they are the way they should be. 

Didn’t do my wii fit yesterday, way too hot in the house.  We don’t have the luxury of central air, hell normally we don’t need it.  We do have an air conditioner for the main part of the house, but then it’s fans galore throughout, so too hot to exercise yesterday.  Today I will have to get my buns in gear before the heat hits once again.  Right now it’s in the 80’s so it’s okay to work out.  I am bound and determined to shed 10#’s , then after I hit that goal, I will set another 10# goal, then I might be happy, will have to wait and see. 

My favorite camera is wigging out on me, oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!  When I went to take a picture yesterday it whirred, shook and shit I thought it was going to explode!!!!  I thought maybe the hot sun, so brought it inside, then Ashley tried it.  On regular setting it video’s, on video setting it video’s , how do I snap a still photo?????  So I took the battery out hoping it would re-set.  This morning nope still wigging out. I did hit one setting and got a still pic, then it went back to being goofy.  I love this camera, it’s compact and comes with me everywhere I go.  Now I have 4 others but you know how it is when you get a favorite, right?  So I am hinting extremly hard to hubby at how much I need a COMPACT camera.  I am shameful when it comes to cameras so yep I am “using” mama right now.  Saying how I can’t carry my other ones when we go out and my purse, plus push the wheel chair.  How mama does so many cute things that I NEED to have my camera with me at all times.  How mama is special and I can never get enough pictures of her.  See I am shameful but dang it I NEED a compact camera and, like the phone, want the EXACT same one.  Tee hee.  But I think first I may just send this in and hopefully it can be fixed.  BUT yeah alway a BUT!!  While its being fixed ( hopefully) I will still need a compact camera, right?  I will badger, hint, rant and rave until I have a working camera.  Hubby’s day off is tomorrow so mmmmmm he should head to the store before his morning coffee!!!!!!!!!  He has to remember “If I’m happy , he’s happy” hahahaha I know I am bad , but hey a girl has to do what a girl has to do!!!!

Rough Two Days

Today and tomorrow are going to be rough for Ashley.  She, and others, have been called back by their high school band teacher to play for Daniel’s memorial service.  Today is the rehearsal and tomorrow is the memorial.  Bethel High School is allowing the service to be held there which I think is awesome on their part.  I know that place will be jammed packed too.  I am just wondering how Ashley and the other kids in the band will do.  Performing and crying at the same time is going to be hard.  I know they want to be perfect for Daniel so it’s going to take tons of strength for each and every one of those kids. 

It will be rough but it will also be closure for all the kids that knew Daniel.  Another step into the real world for them huh?  But still extremely difficult no matter what the age.  Bryce said he will be going to the memorial also so I have a hunch tomorrow will be a “downer” for those two.  They both know we are here for them if they want to or need to talk, that’s about all we can do is support them and help them get through this sad time.

Okay now onto a lighter note, our weather is awesome right now and I am so loving it.  Each day it gets hotter and hotter, all right!!!  Bring it on, I am so ready for it.  Yesterday I got my running around done, floors mopped and house cleaned up so today, oh yeah it’s outside to enjoy the day.  I am glad we have the awning though cause mama needs it.  But if it hits the high 90’s like they say, she will be taking an afternoon nap while I am in the pool.  I so can’t have her in that heat, she is way too fragile. We have a fan out there and the misters but still have to be careful.  It’s funny cause way back mama was the one always outside and the heat never bothered her.  She would be out puttering in her flower garden, cleaning up the yard just on busy lil woman.  Her flower gardens absolutely beautiful too she knew how to make her yard bright and cheery, which matches her character.  She is still bright and cheery, only she don’t know it.  I do and I enjoy every moment of having her here. 

She can still get me laughing so hard I actually get tears running down my face too.  Yesterday was one of those times.  Funny but in some ways not, hell she could have had a heart attack!  We were coming home from Ft Lewis and I always take the back road as it’s much faster.  On the back road on base is all the training sites.  Well the timing was right on cue for us.  I was driving, mama looky looing at everything and I get right in front of the granade range at the exact moment a grenade went off.  Shit it startled me, so loud !  Sweet lil quiet mama jumps, her voice goes up a thousand notches and she says “Oh my God, what the HELL was that?” It just struck me and I started laughing, only because one she never raises her voice and two she never swears.  I told her it was a grenade and she hollers “A grenade??? Why?”  Once I could speak through the laughing I told her we were on Ft Lewis and then she quietly says “oh”  End of subject, just like that, but I swear I laughed all the way home.  Maybe it’s one of those “you had to be there” but if you picture small quiet mama in her own lil world, then try to hear those words yelled out from her mouth, I think you would get the picture.  It has me laughing right now as I am trying to explain it.  I know I am bad, I should have re-assured her that it was just the GI’s practicing etc but nope not me.  Instead I bust out laughing so hard it takes me a few to tell her it’s okay.  Hey I am the type if I see Ron or someone fall I bust out laughing then ask if they are okay.  Sometimes I have even said “hold that pose til I get my camera”  see told you I was bad huh?  Ron got stuck in the blackberry bushes last year.  He fell in a hole and said he was stuck for about 5 minutes but refused to call out for me to help him.  I was like “why? ”  His reply “Cause you would have come over, seen me and told me to hold that pose til I get my camera.”  Hahaha he is so right too, that’s exactly what I would have done!!!!  A kodak moment lost cause he didn’t ask for my help, geeze, go figure!!!!  Told you I am bad to the bone!!!!!  I always have my camera with me, don’t leave home without it, cause you just never know!!!!!

 

 

Where Have I Been!!!!!

Hell who knows, right here but it’s been a zoo around here.  I think, no strike that, I KNOW now it will be calm again because I have learned a new word.  The word is “NO”  and I can actually say it other than practicing in front of the mirror.  Yep and no guilt now.  At first I admit there was some but then I smartened up and thought this family comes first and foremost and that’s the way it’s going to be from here on out.

The ones that had all the trouble with the sexual abuse charge, remember?  Well now they have been evicted from their house.  I got the call and my first thought and question to them was “did this happen due to the sexual abuse charge and all the other crap?”  The answer flat out and like no big deal  “Nope, we just haven’t been paying the rent for months.”  Dang I so wouldn’t admit that to anyone, yikes.  So yeah my mind was whirling for that split second, oh crap how can I help them.  Is there room here etc.  Hell my right hand and left hand met right in the middle of this pea brain of mine, slapping me upside ( both sides) of my head at once.  That brought me back to reality so I said ” I have the newspaper here and I will read all the  vacancies to you.”  Yeah not “oh come live here, come over and re-group ” nope never even mentioned it at all. 

I do get daily phone calls of them wanting to come and “hang out” or swim, or cook out and mmm funny I am always busy.  I have come to the conclusion this is not the public pool, not an Inn and not a restaurant or park.  And get this one day it was we want to come over and bring friends too.  Not no but hell no.  Like I would let strangers in the pool.  If something happened then yeah we would be sued and the ones that brought the extra would be “oh well” and book.  I know that for a fact cause the only time we see or hear from them is when they need or want something.  Well this door mat just got tossed out for good.  I have a new one that says “The Sucker Has Left The Building.”

So other than that we have been busy, now that the weather is beautiful, cleaning up the back yard and deck.  Trust me throughout the winter I used all the shelves out back as my catch all.  Hell it was a great place to hide things and the counters in here looked great!!     We bought new storage cabinets for the porch and have things nice and neat.  At times I feel I am on the wrong deck it’s so clean, wow. 

We got another ladder for the pool. Hubby ordered it saying I needed a way out of the pool fast if I needed to help mama.  So the new ladder is going off the new deck we just added to keep mama close to me when I am swimming, or floating!!  Yeah I float around more, much less exercise !!! 

That dang ladder, ALL DAMN DAY yesterday and it’s still not ready for use.  Hubby ordered the A frame but one that could be converted to a deck ladder also.  Good but, A frame nope we have the deck.  Deck well our new deck is not flush with the top of the pool, it’s 31 ” below.  Adjustments plus have to be made.  We put together, we took apart , we cut, we measured, we put together, we took apart, we measured again, we put together , grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Finally hubby got the brainstorm to cut the damn deck and sink the ladder, then anchor, great idea.  He starts cutting away and damn one cross brace is right in the way of the ladder.  So now he has to notch out the brace and then anchor.  But it was like 90 to 100 in the sun and by 6pm he had enough.  We worked on that damn ladder from 10 til 6pm almost non stop!!!  It was best to simply walk away and tackle again hopefully Sunday afternoon when he is off work. 

I have been doing my Wii fit faithfully every morning and yahoo have 6.3 more pounds to go to reach my goal of 10lbs to lose.  I think I am hula hooping fat off something , I have to be, dang!!  But the hula hoop is my favorite on wii fit.  I do the yoga, strength, aerobics, and if I have time all the balancing games. I have a routine I am sticking to.  I hit the 20 hour mark the other day, so see I have been using it daily.

Have had people stopping in almost daily to so it’s never dull around this joint.  I think the nice weather has brought everyone out more and some how they end up here.  Some I hadn’t seen since December!!!  Catch up time just gabbing away sucking down the coffee as we yak.

So I have been here most of the time just like a steady stream of everything going on.  Come time to sit and relax I take it one step beyond. I don’t sit, I sprawl out on the couch, and relax haha more like collapse but do enjoy the evenings.  After all I need to rest up before our 10pm bowling date, which yup, we still bowl nightly and still love it.  Crank up the music and bowl away!!

Now I think I have established a better routine around here so can spend the mornings and some evenings on the computer.  I have been reading all your blogs, just too lazy to write, plus I didn’t want to just get on here and have it all a downer.  I have worked out all my anger, frustration etc and you know what??  I really am getting to love the word NO , it’s pretty awesome!!!!  I like our family life just as it is, don’t need to take any more people or animals in right now, the INN is full!!!!

 

I am so “blue”

Yeah I am rarely like that trust me.  I am not the type person to be down and “blue” cause I always try to find the bright side to everything.

First I am really blue due to one of Ashley’s friends being killed in a car accident Monday afternoon around 4:30pm.  Daniel and Brian were on their way back from a trip to California.  Brian fell asleep at the wheel and ended up going over to the side of the freeway and hitting a truck that was sitting there.  The semi box was like totaled as was Brian’s truck.  Daniel died and Brian still in the hospital with broken legs, pelvis and other injuries, non life threatening thank goodness.  Ashley was a basket case when she got called and I just felt “OH MY GOSH so damn young, with his entire life ahead of him” Daniel was 19 yrs old  such a shame. 

Then the saga of the sexual abuse charge against our friend still going on.  CPS keeps stalling on interviewing the girls.  She ( the one that bitches about my smoke) still coming over, upset etc and how can I confront her on how I feel?   Nope I am not like that, yet I get onto myself when they leave.  Big talker no action, SUCKER tatooed all over me, yet my heart still goes out to them in that situation.  It’s sad. 

Next it’s our “home!”  It just doesn’t feel like a home anymore and I am very upset about it.  I can pretend to act like Bryce isn’t here, cannot talk to him, have anything to do with him, but hell it hurts and cuts so deep into my view of family.  We have done all we can for him and the rest is up to him, but what is he doing?  NOTHING, still playing his games, not doing a damn thing around here except eating and sleeping and this situation is not even bothering him.  Hasn’t called for counseling so that tells me he isn’t ready and to be honest, he never will be.  I soooooooooooooo hate having our home like this it’s awful.

So there you have it, one family devastated due to their young son’s death, never to see him again, only have their memories.  One family devastated due to a kid lying, dad has to leave, little ones upset and missing their dad, and this family not sure if they want daughter to come home once this is settled or not. 

Then here Bryce has everything ,and the love is there but he chooses video games over it.  How the hell can three families be torn upside down in an “instant” and why?  Thank GOD we don’t have the death or accusations but we still don’t have our “family” anymore either. 

So all of the above and the cold rainy weather, geeze no wonder I am blue. 

Services for Daniels pending right now but when they happen it will be a rough road for all these teens and my heart goes out to each and everyone of them.  Brian that has to live with this the rest of his life, and oh his family, for them I cry, mourn and PRAY to the max.

Quiet Week End

And was it ever nice.  The family headed over to Eastern Washington then last night the little ones spent the night at friend,s so the dad could be at home.  I got mama back into her routine and I got back into mine such as it is.  Now I so don’t mind helping anyone don’t get me wrong, but it’s also nice to be “normal” for a change too.  If anything around here is normal, hahaha I doubt that, not is this house of mis-fits. 

Went to Ashley final choir/ band concert Friday night.  Dang she looked so good up there singing and then playing in the band, yep so proud of here.  Got home after 10pm so mama went right to bed, and she was more than ready, really tired.  Of course after that played our normal 2 hours of Wii bowling.  Yeah I am catching the old man, I got a few perfect scores and him, NADDA yahoo.  He is still 100 perfect games ahead of me, but in due time I will catch him , hahahaha.  Yeah I dream alot too!!!

Saturday did nothing.  Well laundry, cleaning, caring for mama but it was nice.  Cooked for 2 instead of 10, quiet supper which mama ate, then watched a movie.

Yesterday more dusting, windexing, caring for mama, cooking for 5 not 10 and then finally got to sit outside for a bit.  When hubby got home we started in on getting the gate made.  Hopefully today or tomorrow it will be all done, then I will find some more projects to jump into . 

Today it’s head to the store to replenish the cupboards and fridge, yikes.  I am out of tons of things but the worst milk.  A drop of whole milk left and no 2% at all.  Also need to go get Father’s Day cards and wrapping paper.  No way will I be out in the last minute dash at the end of the week.  I want it all done today so I can just do whatever the rest of the week. 

So it may sound boring to all of you but to me far from it.  So much to do during the day for mama that time flies.  Without the extra people around though, it’s a breeze, no problems at all.  Routine is fine with me and trust me I won’t even knock it again!!!!  You don’t realize how good you have things and how under control you are until “disaster” strikes and you are smack dab in the middle of it.  I now know and appreciate my everyday routine and life!!!!

10 HOURS!!!!

Yahoo!!  I was doing my Wii fit work out this morning and bam this flashing 10 hours comes on the screen and my time “piggy” bank turns GOLD!!!  Pretty neat and got me excited cause I know this is one program that I have been sticking too. 

Every morning I take the time fire up the Wii and start with Yoga, then go to Physical Training, on to Aerobics and finish up with Balancing.  Now alot I can’t do because of my bad foot but I do all that I can.  yep and every damn time it comes on and tells me I am out of balance, hahaha.  I know that!!  Then it will say try placing your foot flat, toe and heel touching, mmmm can’t do that so that’s why I just continue on being out of balance. 

It’s like I am not even exercising and time flies.  I force myself to stop actually.  I run through each task once no matter if I beat my high score or not and by the time I am done close to an hour is up.  A fun hour but then I did my fitness test and a profitable hour.  I have lost 1.9 pounds so far, YAHOO!!! 

If you don’t have the Wii fitness and you are like me that hates to exercise, find one!!!  It’s way too much fun to even be classified as exercise yet it works, it really does!!!!  It’s the best $89.99 I have ever spent, I can tell you that much.  I am staying with it, not tired of it and feeling so much better about myself.  Well of course when it comes to the touching the toes aspect, yeah imagine that hummer of a machine calling me a COUCH POTATO, yep it really did hahaha. But I so can’t even balance and try to touch my toes no way not this gimp.  One of these days though I will get it, that is my main goal, to get through it all without it telling me I am a couch potato!!!!!!  See the motivation there??  From a machine of all things, geeze!!!

 

Not Sure What This Post Will Be About

But to start the situation with the friends is basically still the same.  CPS has cancelled two appts to talk with the younger children for possibly up to two weeks.  But get this, it’s okay if they ALL come here to spend the night, dad just isn’t allowed in his own home.  Does that make any sense?  I mean honestly I am not going to sit up all night keeping watch if that’s what CPS thinks will happen. 

The older daughter that started all this is now in Eastern WA with her aunt, now recanting alot of what she said.  Told her mom that CPS RECORDED things wrong and they are liars.  Um okay they rigged a recording.  Said daughter is kissing some serious ass now and I know it’s only cause she wants to come back over there, be with her boyfriend and stir crap up all over again. 

So basically this is still one extremely busy household.  The other night I actually had the mom’s mom stay over night with the two children, and mom and dad stayed home.  I never know who will be here, when or what it going to happen next.  Have been cooking and cleaning up after 9 and 10 people all week still trying to maintain mama’s routine cause truthfully she is really “un-settled.”   I try my best to keep things normal but with that many people coming and going all day long it’s so not happening.

Now don’t get me wrong, I will help for as long as needed, we will share our home etc BUT and okay tell me is it me, am I wrong or was she okay?  Yesterday they all show back up around 4:30p.m.  I didn’t start supper earlier cause I never know when they will be here or if they will be here or just him.  Anyway I get up and start fighting the frozen chicken breast I took out of the freezer, THREE pkgs.  I get sauce going and the rice, enough for everyone which is fine.  She and hubby are out on the deck each on their phones, kids are in the other room playing , etc.  Me I get mama on her potty break, get her settled at counter with me and proceed to cook up a storm. 

Wife comes in then hubby.  Wife say what are you doing ?  I tell her well cooking supper, she says okay.  About 10 minutes later she comes in the kitchen and says to me, “we are leaving now”  I’m like , but you know I am getting supper .  Her reply “yeah well I can’t stay cause of your smoking.  Last night my mom and you nearly killed me and you know I want to breath, so we are leaving”  WTF!!  I open my home to your, your hubby, your kids, your MOM , feed you all week, put all I had to do on hold and you look at me and insuinate you don’t like it here now cause I smoke???  I smoked when you all wanted to use the pool, when you all needed a place, we even lent you money this past week, I smoked then .  Trust me I was hurt and so pissed off I couldn’t see straight.  I didn’t say anything just said okay and was left with a shitload of partially cooked food.  If that was me I would have said “I am tired, I need thinking time etc” I would have totally understood you know??  I will not apologize for being a smoker, I won’t apologize for smoking in my own home which we and only we pay the mortgage on and I will not go outside in MY OWN HOME  to smoke.  Oh I respect others they are all entitled to their opinion.  I know lots say we ( smokers) stink, our home and clothes reek etc fine that’s their opinion.  I respect and do not smoke in other people’s houses if they are non smokers, not even my daughters or sons when I was there.  He had ashtrays for me but nope I went outside.  But here in my home I smoke, I don’t blow it at anyone, this place is big enough, airy enough that it isn’t smokey in here so to me that was flat ass rude .  Do I blame it on her stress?  I don’t know ,  am I tired and just making too much of it, I don’t know, but I do know I was PISSED to the MAX.   Her a reformed smoker too !!!  I totally understand non smokers and how they feel, I don’t understand though how they feel they have the right to slam smokers.  We don’t go bitching etc at them for not smoking so what gives them the right to bitch at us that smoke?  People can be so crass at times it really gets to me.

So that was one aspect of the day yesterday.  The other aspect well remember one of my titles.  If You Think You Have It Bad” or whatever?  Well I know there’s people worse off but night before last I thought it was me alone in the world.  Bryce, yeah remember him huh and me saying so far all is good???  NOT SO!!!  With all this crap going on cause a teen lied and ruined an entire family, yeah well I caught him in a bold face lie.  Only he looked me straight in the eye and lied til he couldn’t get out of it any longer .  So that was a slap in the face.  That sob shared his opinion on his cousins lies and all it did yet he stood right there and did the same thing.  Oh not sexual abuse etc to that extent, but lied and lied and lied.  So yeah I am done.  I give up, he is here in the house but not part of my family anymore.  And the only words I have said to him are “Not one of your friends is allowed here ever again” that’s it and him, he could care less.  Stays up all night playing games, sleeps til 3 or 4 in the afternoon, eats, plays games.  That’s his days off, when he works he sleeps later, so screw him!!!!  I am done for good, and no guilt on my part.  I did my very best and now he is on his own. 

The mom and dad can still come here our home is still open but I just feel like a friggin bank, restaurant, motel, and DOOR MAT .  Maybe it’s just my mood hell if I know.  But we are here to help no matter how many insults are tossed my way.  Can you say STRESS!!!!! Now I am going to go and have a CIGARETTE!!!

Some Progress Lots of Heartache

So okay yesterday wife and hubby had their appointment with the CPS worker.  Yeah wife actually got up and walked out at one point, the lies, the stress, everything just over taking her.  She did go back in after she composed herself and managed to get through the grilling from the CPS worker.  They were questioned on dates, on the pushing down the stairs, the sexual abuse, the abuse of the younger children etc.  Seriously like I told them truth will win but it sucks in the meantime.  Next it was the investigator calling and grilling wife’s hubby for nearly an hour.  At the end of the call hubby did feel a tad better, he doesn’t have to go down and take a lie detector test, but was willing to do that if needed.  Detective told him there’s alot of disgression in the girls stories but they still have to proceed. 

Next step is detective and CPS worker get together, compare notes then present the case to the district attorney.  He ( DA) decided if he will prosecute or not, so now it’s back to the waiting game.

The progress is husband can see younger girls WITH supervision but NOT in his own home.  He is flat out not allowed in the home if the children are there!!!!  So yep, our home is their visitation grounds for as long as it takes.  Husband is still staying here but thinks when he has to go back to work, he will stay with a co-worker due to the car situation.  He car pools and we do live out in the middle of nowhere!!!!  But for now he is here, wife and kids spent the afternoon here.  Left for awhile and came back with wife’s mom.  So it was supper for 10 but hey it’s aok as long as they are together as much as possible.

While at the table chatting, after eating, wife’s phone rings, it’s daugher in the foster group home.  She is deciding where she will go cause sad to say the group home can only keep them for 72 hours.  IF they put daughter in a foster home, they have to pay for it!!!  Yeah husband can’t go home due to the daughter, but still will have to pay for foster care.  Make sense?? Hell no!!!   Anyway daughter starts in saying I will be happy at so and so’s house, wife say you don’t get to choose.  Daughter says why? Why are you even mad at me and acting this way?  HUH??????????  Wife proceeds to say due to your father not being allowed home, your siblings all upset , our family friends etc upset , and you ask why I am mad.  Daughter says everyone is lying I told school counselor and grandma and grandpa about the sexual abuse.  Detectives all ready questioned school counselor, no talk took place, Grandmother sitting right here in my house, no talk took place.  Daughter to her mom, well they are all fucking liars and so are you.  I hate your fucking guts, you are mean, a bitch and you had best let me go where I want.  Again HUH???????  Wife hangs up on her and the tears start, the heartache, the wondering just seemed like all hell broke loose.  We are all in tears, all po’ed to the max and all just can’t understand.

Today CPS is going to talk to younger children to question them if their dad has ever touched them, if they have been beaten slapped etc.  Keep in mind ages 7 & 9, they are filled in but scared just the same.  They want their dad home and this to be gone.  Of course we all do but!!!!!!!  Investigations take forever it seems like.

So for now it’s wait.  They will be here until they get the call to go talk to CPS then come back here.  So me yeah have 2 pans of lasagna ready to go, 2 loaves of Italian bread and a huge bag of premix salad.  They will get nourishment cause they have to eat.  I am taking it upon myself to make sure when they are here it’s normal as can be.  If they want to talk about the situation fine, if not, fine.  But meals will be eaten , and lots of love and hugs will go around so they know they aren’t alone.

So will keep you posted as each day passes.  Pray for this to end soon cause it’s so hard watching this family crumble !!!!

K I won’t take daughter here, we need to keep our home open for the family to be able to see each other, don’t want her messing that up and honestly I don’t need that mess and her turning and accusing my husband of doing something to her.  Which I wouldn’t put it past her.  Nope this place is for family time !!!

Wife’s sister over in Eastern Washington said she would take her in , but wife is reluctant to put that stress on her.  Grandparents don’t want her, soooooooooooooo where do they put her. Certainly not back home to cause more problems, right now there is way too much hurt going on .  My suggestion was to find out the cost of foster care, then see if there are programs out there to help them pay for it.  They were going to check on that today.  She needs to be in a place that doesn’t make her happy, doesn’t give her the freedom to do as she pleases, while her dad is banned from his own home and family. 

No Matter How Bad

No matter how bad we have it, there’s always someone out there worse off than you.  That hit me full force yesterday!!  You all know how I have been “venting” “whining” whatever about Bryce and all his doings, starting last summer right?  Yeah I have been thinking “why me” “why us” “when will it end” “will it ever end” etc.  Oh woe is me yet I didn’t really stop to see the bright side.  Yep you know me there has to be a bright side somewhere.  Bryce hurt us yes, he caused arguments yes, he ran away once, yes but he never ever ever went beyond that.

So yesterday I get a phone call from wife ( I won’t name names k?) she is hysterical so much so I had to tell her to stop, breathe and start again.  Wife says older child ran away, again, third time.  Was angry cause she was being punished, for what you ask?  Taking their car and traveling quite aways.  This car a 2nd so not insured and child no license!!!  K so police report filed for a run away, child call police next day to see if there is a report out on child, then ask what can be done about it.  For a still un explained reason child goes to hospital, cops too, child tells cop dad has been molesting child since age 9.  Parents abusive etc so that involves CPS. CPS puts child in protective custody in foster home, CPS want to take other children away and put in foster home.  Then instead CPS say hubby has to move out, no contact at all w/ children until a full investigation which could take any where from 2 weeks to a year.  Wife hysterical, hubby hysterical, children hysterical and now all of us.  What the hell!!!  I know with all my heart as does hubby and rest of us that this isn’t possible.  Hubby of wife that called not a molester and neither beat on the children, its an angry child seeking revenge for said punishment.  

So what now ???  Who knows !!  Said children are here with us right now as wife and hubby have their 1st meeting with CPS.   Hubby stayed here last night and we talked long into the night, me feeling like a jerk cause honestly , I had no words for him.  I had lots of support but no words to make this all go away!!!  It won’t go away it’s a nightmare that is just beginning.  CPS is not my favorite place trust me on that.  I fought with them for years over the twins, yet they did nothing until cops raid the house, pull the twins and put them in a foster home.  In this case they jump in both feet and totally disrupt and ruin and entire family that has done nothing wrong, why??  Sure I suppose they are doing their job finally but damn do they pick and choose who to believe when they get calls? 

Now it’s one day at a time and tons of prayers needed that things will straighten out so hubby can go home and rejoin his family.  I am behind him 100% there is no doubt in my mind.  He is the best father around and we have all said that through the years.  So how does one go about proving his innocence??  That’s the question of the day.  I told him honestly is the best policy and to do all he is told.  If CPS tells him to jump, he asks how high.  And yep so far he is doing it all.  A relay to get children this morning so they didn’t accidently meet up, get girls, call to say they are on the way here so hubby can leave before they get here,etc.  It’s nuts I tell you but it has to be done right now. 

Heartache, you bet, hurt, oh yeah, anger, yep, understanding what is happening , NO WAY!!!!   So next time you think you have it bad, stop for a minute and think, there is alway someone out there far worse off.

 

 

Just Stuff

As many have said before it’s so hard to come up with a title unless there’s on specific thing you are going to write about.  Me I start on that title and just keep foaming at the mouth and ramble on about anything and everything .  I don’t think I have ever stayed on the same subject even just yakking with hubby.  Haha I will say something and move on to an entirely different subject and he’s still commenting on the first thing.  Yeah there is a lot of confusion around here then tons of laughter cause it can get crazy!!!  Hey keeps life interesting I guess and keeps him confused, just the way I like it. 

My weekend was quiet, the normal everyday stuff.  The mountain range of laundry, the pretending to do thorough housework ( yeah I do surface work mostly, no deep cleaning), the Wii fit and naturally Wii bowling.  Dang am I a Wii junkie now?  An hour or so in the morning and two to three hours each night!!!! 

Yesterday I did give mama a much needed perm.  Oh my lil ol swivel head is a challenge to get the perm rods in her hair.  She swivels, bobs, jumps, says OW with each rod and then tries to pull them out.  When she sees my hand out of the corner of her eye she hollers OW before I even touch her hahaha.  So the perm stretched itself to almost 3 hours, poor mama so many “ow’s” out her mouth!!!   You gotta love her though!!!  My lil child and me trying to make it fun for her, telling her it hurts me more than her, etc.  How many times have you told your kids that???? 

She is so cute now in some of the things she does and says, but yet it’s still so sad to me.  I see her getting deeper into that damn dementia daily.  It’s trying to explain how to hold a cup, how to sit up, walk, go to the bathroom even, she just doesn’t understand at all.   I see her eyes and they are so blank most of the time now.  No clue at all as to what is going on around her and that sucks big time.   BUT on the bright side of this illness, mama is so healthy I love that fact.  We can keep her going and give her the quality of life she deserves cause it’s easy.   We get her giggling and my hubby is so awesome with her.  Everyday when he gets home from work she is the first one he goes to.  He gives her a big hug and kiss and mama lights up the room with her smile.  Then she says to him “I’ve been waiting all day for that” don’t you love it?  She remembers I think.  Sometimes she even asks hubby for another hug and kiss, so damn cute.  She is a character I know that much, such a joy even if it’s sad to see the dementia side of her.  She is our life I can tell you that much.

I haven’t spoken about Bryce lately huh?  Trying to think back um yeah the job he got at AM/PM lasted oh maybe 3 or 4 days!!!!  They “laid ” him off due to job performance.  Yeah he won’t talk to anyone, won’t ask questions and always has a scowl on his face.  Who the hell want that working for you?????  Anyway he did get a job at WalMart and is going on his THIRD WEEK!!!!!!  Wonder if this is the one he will stay with.  He works 10pm to 6:30am  four to five nights a week.  He says he likes the job, even told me he was talking to one of his co-workers.  WOW that’s a plus right there!!!!   I still get upset with him cause he will sleep til oh 2 or 3pm then right on the game, not talking or moving.  Now I know I am on the Wii alot but priorities first, like housework etc.  Him , hell no, he works, sleeps, plays games.  Then he has his friend pop in right around supper time.  Oh at times I feed them cause I have no problem with that but not every damn night.  So I started just going ahead and eating, not telling Bryce it’s time to eat. He know our routine and knows for mama’s sake we have to eat the same time everyday.  If he misses, he gets his own, maybe that will get the message the he has to tell his friends to leave so he can eat.  I mean at times there’s 4 others here and I don’t plan my meals for that many every day, and I won’t.   But I have to give him credit for holding this job for 3 weeks as of today, let’s hope. You have to find good in everything and everyone, right?

Poor Ashley didn’t get accepted to Eastern as you know and was going to go over and appeal but then changed her mind.  She has an appt today after class to map out what she needs for her AA and when she can transfer to PLU.  She told me she would rather do another year and maybe a quarter and get good grades to get into PLU and their music program, so she is good now about Eastern.  She said she didn’t think she was ready anyway and wanted to go mainly cause her girlfriend was there.  She realized she wasn’t heading there for the right reason, so that’s a plus.  She is on the right path thank goodness.  I often think maybe Bryce is a crack baby, I mean it’s possible, so maybe that’s why he’s like he is.  I mean seriously how can twins be so damn different?????

Me I am a happy camper most of the time.  I do my thing keep the house going SHOP til I drop , play the Wii and read my blogs.  You all are my outside world and friends.  It’s nice to know if I need anyone I just get on here, write and my friends pull through.  I LOVE IT!!!