Good Bye 2007

Well technically we still have one more day but I doubt I will be on here except to check the bank acct to see just how much I can spend..  Yeah, have to shop a little before the new year starts, right??  I mean isn’t that a given in this day and age???

No have to check cause in the morning I have to take Max to the vets.  Damn my animals they always get some weird thing that keep me running and keeps the vet quite happy.  He has some gross bump, growth or whatever on his eyeball so have to get it checked.

From the vet’s I need to hit JC Penney’s to try to find a pair of black dress slacks to wear to the show on Wed night and to Bryce’s graduation ceremony.

Once home it’s pop a cake in the oven , cause Bryce asked me to make him a chocolate cake, plus I need to dice, chop, fry, and whatever else you do to get all the pizza toppings made up ahead of time, plus get the crust going.  The party is tomorrow night starting at 8pm and I will be like a wild woman decorating, fixing the table, decorating the cake, chopping , dicing etc plus getting mama up, showered and ready for the day.  A busy day but I am sure all well worth it , lots of fun in the evening .

Today hubby and I finally finished up the de-decorating, damn but I have been washing windows for three days now, enough is enough!!  They are shiny, clean and the house looks soooooooooooooooooo bare now.  It’s amazing at how much of a difference all the deocrations make.  I mean prior to them going up, the house looked cluttered to me, now, nope bare.  I am sure in a few days it will be back to it’s cluttered look and I will be back to whining about having to clean it up.  So for now guess I will just enjoy it as it is.

2007 has been an up and down year over this way, as I am sure the same for everyone.  To me I have watched mama’s dementia take over her brain more and more and the difference a year makes is un=real.  Such a horrible disease and absolutely nothing I can do to stop it or help her.  I am very thankful she is healthy though so I keep focusing on that aspect of her life.  Told you before that I always try to find the bright spot in everything, the silver lining so to speak.  She is truly my bright spot each and every day.

The year also brought amazing changes in Bryce.  From the rebellious know it all kid to the young man about to head off to the Air Force day after tomorrow.  He has put us through the worst kind of hell and then turned it around to put so much pride in us it’s crazy when I think about it.

Ashley has turned into quite a young woman also.  What with college, her job and her music she is amazing.  Can you tell we are proud of those two kids?? Yup we are!!!

The Wii, amazing lil piece of machinery if I do say so myself.  It has given hubby and I some sort of life together and we still love it and mmm have gotten extremely competitive at it too.  An amazing family game but an amazing game for us. We so look forward to our evenings of bowling.

Friends, yeah this blog, another amazing invention and I am so glad I am a part of the blogging world.  I look forward to reading everyone’s blog.  I feel your pain, joy and everything in between.  I enjoy all the pictures you all post and love watching the little ones grow up via the computer.

I pray 2008 will be just as good to me.  I really can’t complain about anything. Oh I try but mmm I am very fortunate and I just have to look around to know that.

So to all my blogging friends out there have a very HAPPY AND SAFE NEW YEARS!!!  I will catch you all in 2008!!!!

De-decorating only to decorate some more!!!

So yeah I have been busy de-decorating and have been cussing myself out something fierce.  Why do I spray every single window in this place with that #@#@# canned snow???  Why do I want every friggin picture hanging on the walls wrapped so pretty, and why of all things to I insist on those lil tiny decorations tied in a zillion knots around the tiny lights?????  Talk about frustration, scrubbing and sweeping, vacuuming and mopping OMG!!!!  Haha but I guess it’s because I love the holiday season so much I just get carried away each year, forgetting it all has to come down, get packed and the house and windows cleaned!!!!

I got the kitchen completed yesterday afternoon in between a fast trip to Seattle, and a mountain of laundry and caring for mama, but oh its so shiny now and yeah I can actually see out my windows!!!!  Today I will tackle the dining room and hopefully one living room.  Tomorrow the other “Christmas room.”  After that is all said and done I will start hanging the decorations for the New Years Eve/Bryce’s going away party.

I must admit in between I do sit down and play on this new computer and I am learning my way around Vista.  I got all my programs on here even my banking, so I am getting there.  I learn something new about it each time I mess around and it’s really not all that bad.  Pictures, printing, my favorites, navigating and even my Outlook mail.  Yeah found out it’s an up graded version to outlook, called Window’s Mail but it’s the same thing.  I still have to master the fingerprint scan but know I will get there eventually.    I am just not the person that loves changes of any kind.  I balk at them, make them harder than they are, finally master them and I am happy for awhile.  That is until new changes come along and send me into yet another tailspin!!!!!

Bryce is on his countdown now he leaves January 1st!!!!!!!  GULP how the hell did that creep up so fast huh?  He is getting excited though and that is a good thing for him.  He told me at first it was fear but now he can’t wait to get started on this new life he chose for himself.  I am glad he is feeling the excitement too, it will make it easier on all of us.  Sure will be hard to see him go but I know it’s for the best.

Okay now the dining room is calling out my name, actually screaming “clean me, clean me, clean me”  so yeah I must obey, hahahaha.  Have a great week end everyone.

Practicing pics on this vista program

My new laptop

Ron’s Jukebox

I am lost

yeah I am, I am on my new laptop hubby got me for Christmas and it’s VISTA!!!!  I know nothing about vista, can’t seem to navigate, can’t find squat and can’t get the stuff I normally do on here!!!!!  OMG it’s so frustrating I could scream at times.  I did get the  blog going and connected this to my printer so I can print.  Got my msn and aim so I can chat but that’s about it.  The rest I am so lost.  There’s no Outlook Express anywhere on here, and aol mmm can’t get that either.  So in the meantime I am using ol faithful “lappy” plus learning this one.  It’s crazy but I need my favorites in aol as we do all our banking on line, plus I have so much more saved.    The old saying “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” so fits me right now, I just don’t understand this program at all.  And it’s supposed to be easy????  MMMm I have to argue that one!!!    I want Bill Gates to jump in his car , make the hour drive here and teach me this supposedly fabulous new way to navigate.  Think he will???

We had a fantastic Christmas around here.  The kids shocked me that’s for sure.   They put so much thought into the gift they gave us and they were more excited to see our reaction to it, than they were to see what they got.  Finally it all sunk in with them, it’s better to give than recieve!!!!!

They got us a $50 american express card with a note that said “dinner just the two of you and a night out on the town”  The night out on the town is the two tickets they got us to go see The Jersey Boys.  I was like screaming from excitment so darn excited as I have been wanting to see them forever!!!!  So yup Jan 2nd hubby and I will be in Seattle at the 5th Ave listening to The Jersey Boys!!!!!!  Bryce will be gone, they got the tickets before he knew he was shipping out so soon, but Ashley all ready got the time off from work to watch mama.  Awesome gift don’t you think???

Hubby loves his jukebox and I love my laptop, just have vista hahaha.  This thing has the thumb print sign on and built in web cam which I love!!!  I will master it.

Received way too many gifts all fantastic , well we all did, spoiled is the new word around here!!!!  A great day for everyone and I hope you all had a great one too!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OUR HOUSE TO YOURS!!!

Just pictures to share , feel free to come on over for cookies and good fun!! 

Cookie Day

Yeah today I decided to get my cookies done, well more cookies that is.  And actually yesterday I was going to do them.  I have cookie dough make for sugar cookies, snow balls, ginger cookies and jam prints.  The I thought nope, no way can’t do them today.  I wrapped the dough and in the refrigerator it went for today.

I couldn’t do them cause my mouth is horrid!!  I was fine Mon and Tues after my tooth was pulled but the Wed oh my gosh it started hurting  and each day has been worse instead of better.  I have been popping Advil like I do when I eat smarties!!!  Then sent Bryce down for the strongest Tylenol he could find, and now am popping those hummers.  It’s not working!!!!  I guess Monday I have to break down and go back to the dentist.  Everyone is saying it’s dry socket , whatever that is.  I don’t know just know I am so sorry I went.  Yeah I went to prevent problems over the holidays and ahem look at me now!!!!  I should have stayed home Monday!!!!!

So is everyone ready for the big day?????  Are you all excited?  OH I am bouncing with excitement!!!  I love watching the looks on the kids and Ron’s face when they open their gifts!!!!  Love helping mama with hers I get such enjoyment out of it.  Ron has absolutely NO CLUE what he is getting this year cause haha they are like “off the wall gifts”  things he wouldn’t even think of hinting about!!!!  The kids well I think we managed to get everything on their list and then  some, so there will be smiles I know that much.  HO HO HO I LOVE IT !!!!!!!  Giving is the best feeling in the world!!!!!  It’s great to give don’t you think???

K everyone try to slow down, enjoy this time of year and have a very Merry Christmas just in case I don’t post before then!!!! Will be thinking of all of you and know I am thankful for this opportunity to meet you all and get to know you!!!

Continuation

Okay so my sister calls me yesterday and says “What to you mean all is taken care of, what’ going on?”  So I told her Brandi is going to take care of mama so she doesn’t need to worry about it.  She says ” well you totally blew my mind “  my reply “no, you blew my mind by telling me you have to check with your daughter, you don’t know if you can get the time off and all the hesitation, so hey I just handled it.”  Her reply ” well let me see what I can co and maybe I can go out for a day or two and help Brat Sue( our pet name we call Brandi) “  I just said “yeah spend all that money for a day or two get real, it’s handled don’t worry about it.”
She is offering again cause it’s all handled and now she can say she didn’t offer, but you know it’s okay.  I will get past it, let her think she is doing the right thing and just move on.  People are funny, when the time comes to actually do something it’s all hesitation and drama, but when things are settled they are back to offering their services!!!  Um yeah I so know better and the sad part to me is, in the long run it’s her loss.  She is missing out on some quality time with her mom.  Brandi is now going to have quality time with her grandmother and she will be the fortunate one.

Thank you all for letting me vent all this out and writing “downers” on here and for your nice comments to me, I so appreciate it. Now mmm yeah I am going to let it go,  change a few things in my life as far as my sister goes, and carry on!!!!

I am still disappointed in her and I think even a bit more after our conversation last night.  Hubby said she will now tell everyone I jumped the gun and didn’t give her a chance, so the tables will be turned on me.  You know what I think of that??  I DON’T CARE!!!  I know and so does my daughter, that’s what counts here.  She can still remain the “hero” in her mind but we know the truth.  Sure our close relationship has shifted in my eyes now but I still don’t want to cut her out of my life.  No life is too short for that nonsense, but I will be more considerate to myself.  I won’t get caught up in listening to all the drama and I won’t be running to help like before.  I will of course still be here and not turn my back but just be a bit firmer and not let it be “all about her” anymore.  Our conversations will be a two way street or haha very short ones, that will be decided with each phone call, but change is there on my part!!!

Thanks to all of you for listening to my “drama” now it’s get busy, finish up last minute Christmas preparations and you all have a wonderful weekend and a Merry Christmas!!

Disappointment

Oh geeze I so hate to be a “downer” especially this time of year but I am so disappointed.  Well maybe “hurt” is a better way to describe my feelings, heck if I know.

As you all know my grandson is leaving Jan 1st for his basic training in San Antonio, Tx.   We have all know this for quite awhile, just weren’t sure of his graduation day from basic. But it was okay!! I had the plan all set, had it fine with everyone. The entire family, me hubby, Ashley, Brandi, her hubby and two girls and Ronnie ( Bryce’s dad, our son) and his girlfriend all to meet in Texas and be there to support and let Bryce know how very proud we all are of him.  It was going to be a graduation celebration and the entire family together!!!   The co-ordinating , motels, car rental, plane tickets etc just all of us bantering , planning etc and all excited to say the least.

My sister graciously agreed and actually told me she would be hurt if she couldn’t be here to take care of mama for me during that time.  She assured me no matter when the graduation, just let her know at least a week in advance and she would be here.  Such relief to me knowing mama would be in great hands, and I wouldn’t have to worry!!!  This has been like a month or more and I have been looking forward to a trip away with the family!!!!

So Bryce got his schedule for basic and the schedule for the families.  Wow too.  The Air Force does go all out.  From Feb 13th through the 16th they have dinners, touring etc all set up.  Even sent us a web site through them for discount rates on motels and car rentals.  So I call my sister to let her know the dates, well in advance don’t you think?

Talking to her okay what emotions did I go through??  Ummmmm all of them!!!  Anger, disappointment, hurt, dis-belief, feeling of being used, you name the emotion I felt it.

Here’s the drift of our conversation, not verbatim but close enough;

Me   Well the dates are set and they are Feb 13th through the !6th so if you come out at least by the 12th I can show you the ropes on mama and how I manage to get her around.

Sister;  What?? Feb ?? What happen to March???  You want me there for that long?  I don’t think I can leave work for that long, I will have to check.

Me ;  Well remember we said we weren’t sure of the date?  And how long did you plan on staying with mama?

Sister:  Well I didn’t think that long, I will have to check. Oh wait Lisa will be home sometime in Feb, mmm I don’t know when though.

Me;  Oh I didn’t know she was coming home, you never told me.  Well if it’s too long I guess don’t worry about it, I won’t go.

Sister;  That will make me look bad I will have to check, well if work says I can’t go, yeah I could quit!!!

Me; No don’t worry it’s okay

Sister;  I will check and get back to you when I get home for Vegas  ( Jan 3rd)

Me;  Air fares are cheap ( yeah we were paying her way out here along w/ 3 tickets to Texas) right now, if we wait they will go up

Sister; Well what do you want me to do, I won’t be here to talk to my boss

Me;  You have a phone and her number right?

Sister:  Oh yeah, I could do that.  Let me check with Lisa when I get to her house and I will let you know.

Me; K fine but don’t worry I will stay home and hubby and Ashley can go, it’s okay

Sister’  That will make me look bad I will check

End of conversation!!!!  Okay is it me??? What or how would you feel???  Did I over react with anger and most of all tears???? Tears of disappointment to be honest I thought she really was going to help no problem!!!

So then next morning I am telling my daughter and she is like right off the  bat  YOU ARE GOING!!!!  I will be there to take care of grandma and you, daddy and Ashley are going.  You more than us, you raised him you need to be there.  It’s fine get your tickets I will be there.

She calls back an hour later and tells me her hubby called scheduled his vacation for that time to watch the girls then they will fly over on Fri after school and be here when we get home.  Brandi talked to her boss and she has the time she will be here and it’s final.

Tears again. This time because I have such a wonderful thoughtful daughter.

So I am chatting with my sisters daughter and told her “When you mom gets there tell her don’t stress about calling her boss for time off, I have it handled it’s all set, she doesn’t need to be here.  Plus this way she will be there when you go home.”

Lisa is like “what?  she was looking forward to taking care of grandma, she will be disappointed.  And what do you mean when I am there?  I told her a LONG time ago I wasn’t going there, she knew that”

No asking who will be caring for Grandma either!!!

So mmmmm is disappointment a good word for all this or is being slapped upside my head with a brick better?????   Hell if  I know.  I do know I have been there for her for the past 6 years and made those trips to NY so she wouldn’t be alone on her anniversary and I truly thought we were super close and would do anything for each other.

Am I reading too much into the hesitation??  I have no clue.  I just know I feel sick to my stomach over this, I feel hurt, teary eyed every time I think of it, yeah even writing this through tears, and I feel so damn betrayed and like I just lost my very best friend.

It’s Christmas the happy time of the year right???  I need help in getting past this and NOT holding any kind of grudge.  I hate grudges I really do but oh right now I am a jumbled mess over it all!!!  I have no clue what to make of any of it to be honest with you.  I am as I said just a mess.

The Week Before Christmas

Yeah we are now on the final countdown until the big day.  Hard to believe it’s almost here once again.  I mean didn’t we just clean up from last year???!!!!  Time waits for no one that’s for sure.

So I am all done except for the wrapping so I  do have more time to “think.”  I have been going back over the past year and wondering just where the time did go.  I mean it’s been busy but so fast. February of course getting things ready for mama’s big party and that kept me  busy from mmmm Oct of the previous year right up to party day!!!!  To me a fantastic time cause I had a lot of my family here.  Oh heck yeah we had our ups and downs, but what family doesn’t!!!

Then we had everything else, birthdays, Easter, graduation, summer visitors, college, enlistment to the military and bam time to Christmas shop again.  But you know what else??  I got into this blogging world thanks to Kelly and Kellie!! Yeah yeah I know I so didn’t want to do this but oh I am so glad I did.  I have met some fantastic people on here and consider all of you my friends!!!  You all know who you are too.  You guys make my day.  I start out reading the blogs, learning of what you are all up to and watching your beautiful children grow up through pictures.  I love every aspect of this blog business, it’s great.

So this quiet week before Christmas I am thinking of you all and just want to thank you for being YOU!!!!!!  I am so fortunate to know each and every one  of you and I want to continue this blogging business forever!!  Great friends just make my day!!! See my best Christmas gift is getting to know all of you!!!

Ouch and Yahoo all in one!!!

Crazy title I know , but hey that’s me for you.  I “flit” from one subject to another and you all just have to try to keep up with me.  I think this pea brain of mine goes 90 miles an hour and I only move at like two miles per hour, hence the flitting from one thing to another!!!

The ouch is my dang tooth!!!  Um yeah guess I should say half a tooth now.  It literally broke but it was  bad to begin with and me stuffing my mouth with peanut brittle did the trick, made sure I finally go to a dentist to get it taken care of.  Knock on wood no pain  (yet) so I am hoping the weekend stays that way.  It just feels so weird now and of course my tongue goes straight to that tooth and has to mess around with it.  I got up the courage to punch in the numbers of my dentist, hands shaking, cold sweat and my stomach so jittery I thought I would be the porcelain queen before they answered!!!!!  Yep I do have a huge fear of the dentist and can’t seem to get over it.  When she told me to go in Monday at 1pm I nearly went out cold.  Crap that’s too soon, NOOOOOOOO help me I can’t make the legs move to get there!!!!!

Now I have been to my dentist many many many many times and no pain, I like them all but the fear before hand is nuts.  I believe it stems from waaaaaaaaaaay back from my childhood.  My dentist growing up was  an old mean, hurtful fart, Dr Farrington ( yep will never ever forget that name.)  That guy was rough would hurt you ,make you suffer and then you got this cheap rubber eraser for enduring his cruelty.  Was it worth it?? Hell no, I could do without the eraser that’s for sure.   My dentist now seriously great guy and the procedures are painless but I sit there shaking all over it’s nuts!!!!  But I will get there on Monday and then this bad tooth won’t ruin my Christmas by aching.  Just pull the sucker and let it ache somewhere else, other than my mouth!!!!!!

So speaking of Christmas I sooooooooooooo blew the budget hubby and I set for each other BUT I just had to.  Hubby is the greatest guy in the entire world and to me he deserves the best.  Yesterday while shopping in Target!!  Yes Kellie your store!!!  I got him the I- Home for his I-pod.  He is a huge music lover, trust me there.  Music is his life and he is happiest when the radio, computer, cd’s, satellite radio anything playing other than tv.  If tv is on it’s the music stations and he is smiling and loving it.  Anyway walking around I spotted this jukebox.  It looks like the old fashioned Wurlitzer’s one he has dreamed of having all his life.  Years ago I did get him a jukebox and he loved it. It wasn’t a  Wurlitzer, it came from the Sheriff Posse hall and I got a good deal on it.  But then it didn’t work right and just sat there.  Our daughter took it home for her game room, with hopes of getting it fixed some day.

So walked away from the Target jukebox cause oops it was high even though marked down half price.  Well all afternoon and last night I had that hummer on my mind and finally decided what the hell, he deserves it and if he’s meant to have it, then it will still be there when I go to get it.  They only had one, so it was “iffy” that it would still be there.  This morning at 7:30am I took off on my elf mission for Santa.  I did check and yeah it was there, so the girl had it  brought to the register while I returned his I-Home, and I bought that damn jukebox for him.  Now this plays cd’s, am/fm radio, and get this his I-Pod.   Crazy huh but I am so excited now, can’t wait til he sees that, he will flip out for sure.  Yeah I spoil him, spent a chunk o change on that bad boy but I am not sorry.  I just robbed my savings ( shhhhhhhhhhhh he can’t know that one) and I did  it fast before I changed my mind.  There my shopping totally complete and I am happy with what I got everyone so come on Christmas I am ready!!!!  I am bad but you know what???  Bad but not sorry, hubby goes above and beyond and to me he is worth it!!!